fear

Jun. 17th, 2011 02:15 pm
adiva: (Default)
[personal profile] adiva
In these past few days, I've found myself doing a complete 180 on the things I thought I knew. I thought I knew I was going to be a teacher next year, but it turns out, my school had other plans. Or should I say, ex-school. I thought I would just use law as a way to fill time without actually making any money. However, it may now be the only way I can make any money in the near future. I thought I was going to just continue thinking about a food business with the plans of making it a reality 10 years from now. Nope, that's been moved up a bit, by something like 9 years.

What the hell is going on?

I wish I knew. And I wish I wasn't so scared about the future. You would think that with everything I've been through, I'd have some confidence, some esteem, some moxie for chrissakes. But no, I've got a constant knot in the pit of my stomach and a feeling that things may crash down around me at any moment.

But, it's kind of exciting too. I feel as though it's only through fear that I will accomplish anything. Never written a patent app before? No worries, I'll learn. Don't know how to market candies? That's okay. I can google. Doing my first big out-of-town craft fair to sell lip products that can melt in the Texas heat? Easy peasy - get some ice packs.

Fear can certainly be my undoing, but it can also be what saves me from another job where I'm misunderstood and treated like dirt.
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May 2012

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