adiva: (sleepy)
[personal profile] adiva
Lately, I've felt left out a lot. I'm involved in a lot of activities and it feels like I'm the unpopular girl in all of them. It's not constant and it certainly doesn't feel intentional, but it's there nonetheless. I don't know if it's true or if I'm just being sensitive. I haven't said anything to anyone really, but I felt like it might be good if I wrote it out to see how it looked on paper a.k.a. my computer screen. Jury's still out on how it looks...

To be fair, I believe I tend to isolate myself as well, so I can't really blame people if they don't want to include me in their fun. As extroverted as I am, I gravitate more towards being an observer than the center of attention. And while I do like attention every once in a while, I have a hard time grabbing it. I also can't help feeling like there's something about my personality, my demeanor, my presence and what not, that makes people view me as aloof and perhaps even a snob. And I wish I could shake people and tell them, "I'm a really nice person! No really!" But I know that would come off as just psychotic.

So instead, I write it here. And hope that no one judges me for writing it. I also hope this feeling passes. Sooner than later would be better.
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May 2012

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