slower?

Dec. 7th, 2010 09:18 pm
adiva: (Default)
My life for the past four months has been filled with teaching, training to be a different kind of teacher, making lip balms, selling lip balms, cooking new recipes, and buying a house.

I feel like a completely different person as a result. I regularly go days without checking Facebook. I have no idea what's on the news. I haven't been able to finish a task list since I don't know when. I get sleepy around 9 at night. And I don't sleep the whole night through. Ever.

And yet I love my life. I'm excited and happy and feeling really positive about the future.
adiva: (Default)
How does that sentence make sense? Clearly something dead can't go faster. Can it?

You know what thought I had in my head when I woke up yesterday morning? That my arm fat could suffocate a man. This made the boy laugh jovially at me, but I was serious.

I am now very much convinced that it is my anti-anxiety medication that is making me fat. What to do? The boy forbade me from taking diet pills, even after much pleading on my part. And I refuse to buy a whole new set of work clothes. I would rather look a little "tight" in them. Well, the good news is that I won't be on the anxiety pills forever. The doctor just doesn't think that's a good idea. I guess I'm going to have to find new ways to cope with my issues. Hopefully, I won't go back to being the messy glob of human emotion I was before.

I should focus on good things. Like dinner tonight. I am taking the boy to churrascaria tonight for his birthday dinner. That means lots of meat on sticks for him and lots of vodka for me. I'd say that's an excellent trade-off. Plus, while waiting for dinner to come around (I'm leaving from work you see, since it makes no sense for me to go home), I took a little trip to Bergdorf's to do some more makeup shopping because I have no willpower. Did you know that even the receipts are nicer at Bergdorf's? They're made of some kind of heavy stock paper so that you still feel rich after handing them your money. I suppose it makes sense. If I'm going to drop my money into that particular bucket, I'd like something in return.
adiva: (Default)
I arrived in Nashville about half an hour ago. I'm waiting for my friend's flight to come in before we head to our hotel and go grab some bbq. We're here for a co-worker's wedding. Apparently, we're the only ones from work who are coming. Whatever happened to strength in numbers?

What's sad is the only thing I can get excited about is the idea of going to Waffle House. I've been through the South about a million and one times and never had a waffle at Waffle House. Truly a sad state of affairs. I hope this trip fixes that huge gaping hole in my experiences.

The boy is in Vegas at the moment at a bachelor party. From what I can tell, my training has prepared him well for the battlefield of hookers out there who are just waiting to take my beautiful boy away from me. A text message early this morning informed me that at least 7 strippers now know of me and are jealous. Now, whether they are jealous of him for having such a great relationship, or of me for having such a faithful boyfriend, was not specified. But I suppose it doesn't matter.

I've come up with some great rhymes in the meantime, that I've told him over the phone:

Neener, neener, neener.
Who's touching your wiener?

Rose are red,
Violets are blue.
Don't think I won't pierce your scrotum with thatched reed traveling at hurricane-like speeds if you cheat on me.

Mirror mirror on the wall.
If [boy] cheats, I'll kill them all.


Poetry? Perhaps. What's more important is the way I can keep to a theme. :)
adiva: (Default)
My new corn snake, Falcor, will be arriving on Tuesday. I am so utterly excited. :) I just know I'm going to fall in love the moment I see him. And then I'll just die, die, die from the love in my house between the cats, the hamster and the snake. And when the boy visits on the weekend, I may just explode from the overwhelming gravitational effect of the loving.

Ahem.

Anyways, I'm back from Chicago. It was a wonderful vacation. I am about 5 pounds heavier, but it was soooo worth it. I unfortunately, did not get to eat gator, but I did eat shark. I also had some excellent hot dogs at Hot Doug's. Mmmmm...

And, as usual, I'm even more in love with the boy. I'm not sure how that's possible, but it is. I demanded that he say something romantic to me before our vacation ended, and he came up with a good one: "I know I don't express it that often, but I am proud to have you as my girlfriend. I look at you and think 'Wow, that's [jinnyisms2]. And she's my girlfriend.'" Aaaaannnnhhhh...

I also took this opportunity to tell the boy about my first crazy bf. He took it well, but commented on how it was hard to believe that those things happened to me. Sigh. Yeah, it's hard for me too.
adiva: (Default)
sorry everyone. i'm finally starting to re-emerge from the work cave i was in for a few weeks. i'm not sure how i survived, but i did. and my new partners like me, so it's all good.

not a whole lot going on. flying out for 4th of july weekend to attend taste of chicago. i plan on eating alligator and all sorts of new things. and the weather looks like it might not suck while the boy and i are there, so that's a bonus.

as of today, i have 1,650 days left doing the job i do. then i'm out (at least that's the current plan). oh, i've also started a new countdown. this time, it's to the day that i move in with the boy. i have 248 days left for that deadline. (you think i'm crazy, but trust me, it helps me with my anxiety. don't ask why, i'm not sure i know anyway.)

alright, time to head home.
adiva: (Default)
on to the brutal truth.

i is so bored. so so bored. and in pain. cramps. you know the deal. wish i could stick a knife into my belly. and i have a hunger headache. but it's all for a good cause. going to mesa grill tonight and want to make sure to have an appetite.

sorry for the stream of consciousness. blame it on boredom, pain, and hunger.
adiva: (Default)
It's 1:29pm and I am just a waste of space. I did get to see the pre-bf last night though and that was nice. It had been a week and 3 days! We were both really tired though, so it ended up being just a cozy evening laying on the couch. Tonight will be more high energy I think.

That is, if I can keep my eyes open. I just ate a fabulous sandwich and have the other half sitting on my desk. But I think I'm going to Gramercy Tavern tonight too so I'm a little on the fence about whether I should eat the other half. But it's turkey, brie and honey mustard. Ack! The choices I'm faced with on a daily basis.

After work today, I'm picking up the new Tegan and Sara CD in addition to the Hot Fuzz DVD. Can't wait. Maybe I should go now...

UPDATE: I ate the other half. You knew I would.
adiva: (Default)
Got back on a red eye this morning. Needless to say, work was a bust. Ended up with an hour and a half of billing before leaving at 2. Ha ha ha.

Let's catch up. Last Tuesday, I went to a summer associate event and ended up being the last one standing. I drank for 10 hours! But I'm still alive. And the memories, oh, the memories...

Fourth of July consisted of waking up (still a little intoxicated) early enough to get to Coney Island to watch the devastating defeat of Kobayashi at the annual hot dog eating contest. But that is not to say that he didn't do work. He managed to beat the old record by eating 63 HDBs (hot dogs and buns) in 12 minutes, but Joey Chestnut scarfed down an impressive 66 HDBs. And, either way, I was a winner since Kobayashi had me with the Asian thing and Chestnut is from San Jose. I had to represent... South Bay! The rest of the day was nice and leisurely, ending with some tasty Rolo shots before napping, packing, and getting up in the middle of the night to catch my early flight to Cali.

Cali was awesome, as usual. I have new wavy/curly hair. I got to see my bff before she takes off for Boise with her hubby. I ate some of the best seafood I've ever had in my life (Old Port Lobster Shack in Redwood City is a must). And, I watched one of my dearest high school best friends tie the knot in a lovely ceremony at a vineyard near my hometown. Not to mention making some serious connections in the friends department at the wedding. I had a great time. And the pre-bf made quite the impression on me by staying in touch every day and calling to see if I made it back from my flights okay both on my way to Cali and on my way back... shock hasn't worn off yet. We'll see how he reacts to the hair tomorrow night.

And now I'm back. Already, I've spent approximately $215 today on things ranging from a new cell phone plan with T-Mobile (trying to take advantage of this new Hotspot@Home scheme), some anti-frizz products for my new wavy/curly hair, and a kick ass fan to help me sleep at night without sweating to death. I think I may have gone a little giddy considering I finally got my security deposit back after over 2 months.

Wish me luck.
adiva: (Default)
day 4 of very little sleep. and all because of this son of a bitch thing called humidity. actually, last night i was sleeping with full-on a/c but my new pre-bf is a loud sleeper. and i am a very light sleeper. not a good combo at the moment.

and now it's time to move on to things not having to do with how freaking exhausted i am...

saw ratatouille tonight. it is so UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME. the entire audience started clapping when the credits started rolling. when's the last time you remember that happening? it's been a while for me. i laughed so hard during that movie. i just can't stop talking about it. man, i totally should have invested in pixar.

then went to eat some lovely fresh sushi down in the w. vill. at yama. very nice, but the service sucked ass. can't always win in this city.

and i fixed my wireless router today. i can't believe i've lived without it for the past 3 months. well, it's back on baby, and it explains my late night posting.

and it's off to bed for this chickarina.
adiva: (Default)
it's what i just had for lunch. and it was delicious.

so i've been thinking a lot lately about what it is that makes me the way i am. i know i'm going through a particularly stressful time right now, but i have to think some of it was with me from a very early age, possibly even when i was a baby. i think i've always been liberal with colors, more than a little brash in my speech, and somewhat on the dark side in terms of humor.

but what makes me want to be in a relationship so bad? if i was with someone, would i really be happier? is loneliness so strong with me that it clouds every other consideration i should be considering? but i'm clearly not desperate enough to just hook up with anyone. otherwise, i would have.

and with my father, why can't i just have a normal conversation with him? i know that in actuality, no one does, but still, what is it about him and me that just makes me start yelling at him? i have patience everywhere else. that's actually a double-edged thought though, because at the same time that i think my family encourages loopiness, i've also been wondering if my loopiness really is genetic (as my mother would say.). to make things even worse, i wonder what i will do and be like when he's gone?

and with work, the real question is "how did i get here?" here, this cesspool of incompetence and imbecility. how did i get here? i don't consider myself particularly self-destructive. in fact, i consider myself someone who is not afraid to take risks in the hopes of ending up in a better place that is a bit different from everyone else. i would also consider myself self-promoting, a skill that is key to success in this world. and yet, how did i get here?

the pain

Jan. 13th, 2006 05:51 pm
adiva: (Default)
i was finally able to return to the boxing gym this past week (and i'm paying for it pretty bad in the calves today). they even called me over the break to see why i hadn't returned. i reminded them that there was that pesky strike, and then the holidays. they sounded skeptical at best.

the mentor at my firm has just found a new job. i will miss her greatly. funny thing is that it has gotten her to decide that i really need to find a new job asap. i'm not so sure about it. i would love to leave, but would i be going anywhere better? who knows. what is known is that before i try jumping off the deck of this ship is that i need to pass the patent bar. luckily, i'll know pretty much as soon as i finish taking it (yay for computerized tests) and i'll already have the name of some good headhunters by then.

weird thing is, i think i got a raise? hmmm.... still doesn't make up for the sense of abandonment and frustration i feel on a daily basis. my billables suck at the moment, a whopping 4.3 for 2006 so far. HAH. and apparently, because i work for a major loser who has no book and i don't belong to a "gang" (think geeky lawyer west side story), i don't see any prospects of it getting better any time soon. and of the work that is at my firm, i don't think i want to be working for clients like the city's healthcare group or any crap like that.

baby steps.... breathe in, breathe out....

better news - tonight, i go to brazilian bbq. yes, yes, i know i don't eat meat. but i love their salad bar. it even includes sushi. and i have saved my money. i will be able to afford the $60 worth of sushi and seafood salad that is being deposited in my stomach tonight. then drinks afterwards. mmmmm....

firefly

Dec. 13th, 2005 10:45 am
adiva: (Default)
i finished the second DVD of my firefly series DVDs last night. they're really really good! and funny. i wasn't expecting so much funniness.

so i was at macys again yesterday, trying to buy a nice bathroom rug while i had my little discount card. but they didn't have the right color. and now i'm worried, what if no one has the right color? sigh... it's not even like i want a design for chrissakes, just a goddamn solid color.

but i was able to make a successful trip to the korean market after my failed attempt at buying home goods. when you fail in that regard, the obvious answer is to resort to buying food. you can never go wrong there. so, i finally bought a bag of rice (this is crucial as none of the grocery stores in my swanky UES neighborhood carries asian rice) and i made rice last night! this is the first time i've made rice since i moved into this apt. (a little over a year ago). and i also bought 5 different kinds of ramen, some radish kimchi and spicy pickles. for dessert, i picked up some frozen red bean buns and mochi. i had quite the feast last night. and i was happy.
adiva: (Default)
ok, so i was wrong. i thought my recipe for mini-cheesecakes made 12, but instead they make 9. luckily, i made twice that amount for the party i'm going to tonight (happy bday y!) but it also means i had none left to eat for myself.

of course, it IS a dessert party. it's not like i'm not going to have anything to stuff my mouth with. but still...

i'm also a little worried there won't be enough champagne... luckily, y lives near a liquor store. i may have to make a quick trip later tonight.
adiva: (Default)
after drinking a bottle of champagne (minus the one glass k had) last night and one and a half very large pieces of pizza (but so good!), i came home and drunkenly snarfed down half a napoleon. this thing was amazing. after having been in the fridge for over 4 days, it was still flaky, creamy, and not soggy. how is that possible? i think they're magic.

oh, and i just realized last week that i live, oh, about 5 blocks from a POPEYE'S CHICKEN. how could i not have known that? wouldn't i have smelled it? is my yummy chicken radar broken? hmmm....

May 2012

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