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I guess I'll be cross-posting to both Dreamwidth and Livejournal now. We'll see if I like it. This is my first test post. Figuring it out was a bit confusing, but I think I've got the hang of it now.

to-do lists

Aug. 4th, 2010 08:30 pm
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So, I've got about a million and one things to do, but yet here I am, drinking my ghetto drink of choice (vodka and Coke Zero), watching Confessions: Animal Hoarding, Honestly, it won't really affect my to-do list of today, but it is having a serious impact on tomorrow's.

I know people who have given up on to-do lists because this is exactly what happens. I know others who try to limit their to-do lists to the things that they can actually do in a given day. And then there are others who just don't worry about these things and have never made a to-do list in their entire lives.

There is absolutely no way I could fall into any of these tempting, yet completely out-of-reach categories. I would be a lost dinghy on the ocean of life without my to-do lists. Literally, I would just watch youtube videos all day and eat Cheetos by the handful. As to the length of the lists, I think limiting myself would give in to my pessimistic side. Setting high expectations for myself is not a new thing and really, I feel like it helps promote my momentum throughout the day. Without that momentum, I'm back to youtube and Cheetos.

Thankfully though, I'm not as neurotic as I might seem at first. Because at the end of the day, there's a nice cocktail waiting for me and those to-do lists retreat to the back corner of my mind and I can just relax and watch sad, depressing reality TV.
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On our bike ride this past Saturday, while crossing the Williamsburg Bridge, the boy and I had a particularly entertaining New York moment. We passed a man, who may or may not have been homeless, riding a unicycle. And not just a normal, run-of-the-mill unicycle, but a seriously tall, like 7 feet in the air, unicycle.

I wish we had our cameras on us at the time. It would've been priceless.

Two questions: 1) how did he get on the unicycle? and 2) how did he manage to pedal up the upwards part of the bridge? (The second question is really more out of pure envy since on a regular bike, I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack by the time I reach the mid-point of any bridge.)
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Via [livejournal.com profile] nanila. Apparently, I'm supposed to tag people, but besides [livejournal.com profile] nanila, none of my friends use LJ anymore. But here are the instructions anyhow:

Pick 10 people and give them the "you make my day" award. If you're picked, you are charged with picking 10 of your own if you wish.

I choose: (answers)

The questions meme:

People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.

1. Make a list of 5 things you can see without getting up.
* My cat, Charlie
* My blackberry
* My flat screen TV
* 4 large boxes filled with empty boxes
* Plaid socks

2. How do you style your hair?
Wash in the morning, air dry a bit, spray volumizer on the roots, curls booster on my ends, then scrunch, scrunch, scrunch.

3. What are you wearing now?
Sweats, tee, and a hoodie.

4. What’s your occupation?
Lawyer, entrepreneur, and amateur beauty blogger.

5. Do you nap a lot?
Only when the boy can help me fall asleep.

6. Who was the last person you hugged?
The boy. On Monday. I wouldn't let go so he dragged me to the front door.

7. What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
I guess I'd have to say hair products. It fits under the more general umbrella of my beauty products obsession/addiction, but is specific enough to stand on its own.

8. What was the last thing you ate today?
Spinach fettucine fungi.

9. What was the last text message you received?
My friend telling me that he's going to get meet TAPS, aka the Ghost Hunters.

10. What websites do you always visit when you go online?
Facebook, Gmail, Twitter, Cuteoverload, The Superficial, WWTDD.

11. What was the last thing you bought?
My dinner - see # 8 above.

12. What are you listening to right now?
I'm listening/watching to the Dollhouse.

13. What do you think about before you go to bed at night?
I try to remind myself to relax. Then I try and not worry about all the things that are going wrong and instead, focus on the things that are going right.

14. What was the last CD you bought?
I think it was the Flight of the Conchords CD.

15. What is your favourite weather, and why?
Mmmmmm... I really love the rain. It's comforting to me and reminds me of SF. I also love how it makes the city look so clean.

16. If you could play any musical instrument, which one would you play?
I already play many but if I could play a new one? I think I'd like to learn how to play the guitar. But don't tell my brother or the boy.

17. How are you?
Copacetic.

18. What’s something you'd like to say to someone right now?
I would like to tell the evil partner that she can't ruin me and that in the end, I'll end up in a better place than her.

19. What's one of your favourite movies?
As always, I must bring up the City of Lost Children. Visual effects, check. Quirky story, check. French, check.
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Our application was approved and we will be signing tomorrow. The details leading up to this momentous occasion aren't much better than what I described before, but at least we have a light at the end of this hellish tunnel.
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I don't know what kind of personality one has to have to go into real estate but I'm convinced that most of us in the world are just too good for it.

The boy and I have been looking for an apartment and have finally found one to our liking. We went in yesterday to apply for it. Once there, we find out that the price told to us by the broker is really an "offer" price and even though neither of us recalls being told that, oh ho no, we apparently were. They also requested a ridiculous amount of paperwork and told us that we wouldn't even be able to receive confirmation of our offer or a possible counteroffer until our ENTIRE application package was complete.

Then, in speaking to my current management company today, I am told that I cannot have my security deposit cover my last month's rent and that "in all [the realtor's] 20 years in real estate," she would have never said such a thing. What she apparently said was that if I didn't pay my last month's rent, my security would cover it. It still has not been explained to me the qualitative difference between those statements. And finally, I requested a reference letter from them and told them I needed it by the end of today. That was at 12:30. They said they would slip it under my door. I then called again at 4:30 and was reassured that it would be under my door. Guess what? It's 10:05 and nothing has been slipped under my door.

Unfortunately, as maddening as all this is, the apartment is truly worth it. Ergh.
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The bed calls to me. It wants me to keep it warm. But I'm just not ready yet. Somehow 1am just seems too early, even if I do have to get up at 7.

The day just never ends. I was told again by my manicurist/massage lady that my shoulders are rock hard and that they're not normal. Somehow, I always end up apologizing for this. The boy thinks I should maybe go see a doctor about it, but I don't know what they'd do about it. The pain is really unbearable sometimes, but I'd rather not end up addicted to muscle relaxers and the sort. Especially considering the ridiculous number of medications I am currently on (thankfully, most of which are non-daily). I really don't know what to do about it. Most days, it's just an annoyance in the background, but there are days like today where my shoulders and shoulder blades are just burning, and I want to cut the muscle out with a knife. Not the most pleasant visual I'm sure, but it's how I feel.

In the meantime, I must keep working and typing and ruining my posture. But it's all going to be worth it in the end, right? There's some kind of payoff waiting for me in the future, yes?
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my blog will have this calming, peaceful theme. the orange juice man was starting to make me nervous.
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Oh dear. It's back to work in two days. And I'm still looking for a new job. I've applied to 3 so far but because of the holidays, I haven't heard a thing in terms of interviews.

But, I did start something positive despite all the gloom. I have launched my own beauty blog. PM me if you want the link. :)
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How does that sentence make sense? Clearly something dead can't go faster. Can it?

You know what thought I had in my head when I woke up yesterday morning? That my arm fat could suffocate a man. This made the boy laugh jovially at me, but I was serious.

I am now very much convinced that it is my anti-anxiety medication that is making me fat. What to do? The boy forbade me from taking diet pills, even after much pleading on my part. And I refuse to buy a whole new set of work clothes. I would rather look a little "tight" in them. Well, the good news is that I won't be on the anxiety pills forever. The doctor just doesn't think that's a good idea. I guess I'm going to have to find new ways to cope with my issues. Hopefully, I won't go back to being the messy glob of human emotion I was before.

I should focus on good things. Like dinner tonight. I am taking the boy to churrascaria tonight for his birthday dinner. That means lots of meat on sticks for him and lots of vodka for me. I'd say that's an excellent trade-off. Plus, while waiting for dinner to come around (I'm leaving from work you see, since it makes no sense for me to go home), I took a little trip to Bergdorf's to do some more makeup shopping because I have no willpower. Did you know that even the receipts are nicer at Bergdorf's? They're made of some kind of heavy stock paper so that you still feel rich after handing them your money. I suppose it makes sense. If I'm going to drop my money into that particular bucket, I'd like something in return.
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which leads me to online shop. a lot. it's a sickness. goddamn ebay.

i've been adding people like crazy on facebook lately. most recently, it's been students i've taught in the past. i didn't think they'd all accept my requests, that maybe they'd think i was stalking them or something. but surprisingly, they are adding me without any questions. so either they don't think i'm stalking, OR they just don't remember me at all.

what's kind of weird for me is just to see how much people have changed over the years. i don't feel like i've changed much at all. in fact, i like to delude myself into thinking i'll never look less than 5 years younger than my real age. which reminds me... tomorrow is the boy's birthday. now i'll only be "4" years older than him. i'll be less of a cougar, more of a really hot lynx.

i should be reading some patents right now. but i just can't.

funny qotd

Sep. 30th, 2008 11:31 pm
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someone just said to me on the phone: "i'm not sure how to deal with her secrecy about money and jesus."
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life has been so busy lately that i feel out of breath. but in a good way i suppose. well, at least most of it.

i was in california last week. did 6 flights in 3 days. i don't recommend that to anyone. it's not fun. the air on planes smells funny and the bagels in first class suck.

i have a few friends going through some rough times and i'm not sure how i feel about it yet. part of me feels too tired to deal with other people's stresses, but another part of me can't help but worry for them.

meanwhile, work has picked up a lot but i'm still not motivated.
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that's it. it's armageddon time. for the umpteenth day in a row in nyc, there has been rain. i can barely see outside my window right now. normally, i sit in my office in the dark but today, i had to turn on the lights just so i could read.

i realize i might be taking the weather a bit personal, but it's because i'm not exactly convinced that it's NOT.
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it's time i came clean. i have a new obsession. i've been trying to hide it for a while now, but i finally had to admit yesterday that i'm hopeless.

i'm addicted to... lip balm.

it started out with just buying some lip smackers at the local drugstore for reminiscing sake. but then i found a wonderful blog about lip balm (chaptastic.blogspot.com) and started perusing ebay for lip balms. and going to all to the drugstores near my home and work. then i found a lip smackers online store. well, you get the idea. the main problem is that they're just so cheap that it's so easy to justify buying all my favorite flavors.

thankfully, i know this won't last. since my divorce, i've gone through a lotion obsession, a lip gloss obsession, a paper obsession, a pen obsession, an eye shadow obsession, a perfume obsession, a hot sauce obsession, a peanut butter obsession, an eye liner obsession, a video game obsession, a book obsession, a mascara obsession, and an independent soda obsession. there may have also been a short cheese obsession in there as well. along with an occasional french fry obsession.

so, knowing what my M.O. is and appreciating it fully, i just have to wait it out.
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i saw my doctor this past week and he gave me a prescription that is now making me kind of dizzy. i hope the side effects don't last too long because they are not cool.
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I absolutely hate it when I lose things. I lost this little tube of cream this morning and I have spent about 40 minutes total today looking for it. It's not so much that I actually need it, it's really more about the fact that it seems like it just disappeared. I had a plan for it, I even think I remember picking it up, but after that - *POOF* - it's gone.

It's driving me insane.
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I can barely concentrate on anything since it's so close to vacation time.

I continue dieting and exercising as much as possible. I got a hot salt scrub last Friday and it was amazing. I have written up a packing list for me and for the boy. I think I'm going to start packing tonight so I can start gauging room in the suitcase. It's all going according to plan.

I spent this past weekend in the Financial District at the boy's place. Oh god I cannot live down there. It is sooooo boring. But for a weekend here and there, it's not too bad. As you probably could guess, we didn't go outside much, and when we did, we cabbed it. Did I mention how it's so boring down there?

One exciting thing happened this weekend though. I got to try the boy's body fat weight scale. I came in with the following statistics (these are the ones I can remember): Weight: 113.2, Body fat percentage: 21.8%, Body water percentage: 51.8%, Physique rating: 5 (not sure what the scale is here), BMR: 1212 I think?, Metabolic age: 12 (that's the lowest number you can possibly get so I might even be below 12), and Visceral fat rating: 1 (again, not sure what the scale is). Not bad for a 30yo female. Apparently, my measurements will be even more impressive in two weeks when I'll be... oh, never mind.

Anyways, I was happy. And I thoroughly enjoyed my two free days. I had a soda, I ate a cupcake. It was just awesome. And back on the horse today. That's how it goes.
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i don't know what happened this past winter (hating my job, ex getting arrested, navigating a new relationship, increasing PMS symptoms), but it did make me put on about 5 pounds. which i now need to lose.

i am doing calorie counting again, this time online. plus, there's the running on the weekends. hopefully it will do some good and i won't feel so much like a walrus all the time. i should also mention that the boy is on a huge fitness kick at the moment, so i can't help but sympathize a bit. (hence, the running.) the biggest change this has instigated is that i am not drinking as much anymore. in fact, not at all for the moment. today marks day 7 of no alcohol. i am also hoping that this will eventually kick in and show itself in the form of lost blubber. we estimate that by not drinking, we probably avoid ingesting about 1500 calories over a typical weekend (friday-sunday). that's 1500 calories each. when he came up with that number, i laughed at first, and then realized it was true. nothing like reality to dampen your day.

today is beautiful. 68 degrees or something like that. and then it goes back to cloudy and rainy tomorrow. i'm very tempted to take my work "home" and sit in the park.
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I was very good and did not initiate contact with the boy this week. No calling, texting or emailing since I said goodbye to him Monday morning. I was prepared to not hear anything until Friday but he texted last night to see if I was coming over this week. I think I'll go over there tonight and talk to him about my aforementioned issues. I'm a wee bit nervous but I think I'll be okay.

Totally unrelated to that is something I'd like to share with you and only you... I know I'm a professional in NYC and all that, but I have something to say.

I actually don't really like Louis Vuitton.

I know, you can take away my lawyer badge, you can revoke my Asian status. I don't care. That stuff if ugly to me and I think I'm finally becoming mentally stable enough to admit it. Whew! I'm glad I got that off my chest.
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