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i have to rein myself in. i've been spending way too much lately in an effort to feel something besides blahness. it has got to stop. the boy and i discussed my limits and i know i'll stick to it if he's holding me accountable. it's not going to be a cold turkey kind of thing, hence it's not a no-buy but a low-buy. the boy thinks i'm ridiculous but whatever - he'll deal with it.

speaking of which, i'm looking forward to spending the week between christmas and new year's with the boy. this past thanksgiving weekend really spoiled me and it made me realize that yes, this is the one i want to marry, and that yes, i really want to live with him. there was a brief scare where his parents may have interrupted our winter vacay, but thankfully they were convinced that it would be best for them to come to ny at a later time.

at the moment, i'm watching intervention on a&e. i have to admit. there is something about this show that just makes me feel better about myself. is that just sick? right now, it's a grad student who's both alcoholic and bulimic. freaking fascinating.

i've got to find more hobbies.
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I'm trying to take advantage of a newfound enthusiasm for working. I've decided I'm going to try to attain a certain level of combat bonus and so I need to work. Not a crazy amount, but a fairly large amount. Thank goodness I've got TV to keep me company. Currently, I'm watching the Omaha event of the World Series of Poker. And of course, there's the internets.

Sigh. It doesn't help that I've gotten invited to so many events lately. Paintball, friends' gigs, 2 weddings, 2 baby showers, a music festival, etc. Just thinking about it makes me... exhausted.

The rough times I referred to earlier have resolved themselves for the most part. A mental breakdown, a plea bargain and a possible breast tumor later, and nothing's great, but it is better. (I should clarify that these things did not all happen to the same person.)

My response to these issues? I bought a 360 elite. Yeah, I went for the electronics. I'm such a dork. I just bought the 60gb ps3, but now I've also got the 120gb 360. And I bought all these games. Which I can't play. Because I'm working so much. It's a vicious cycle. And I've been buying a lot of makeup too, which I've now justified in my head because I've found someone who's willing to take all the items that are the wrong color for me.

Me is a basket case. Me knows. Time for ice cream.

new lows

Apr. 8th, 2008 03:36 pm
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The U.S. Patent Office is ridiculously slow with repairing their website.

So I'm watching Dexter while doing doc review.

How in the hell did I get here?
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Looks like I have a pretty good chance of making the cruise. It seems like our trial will only be for one week total, so I'm obviously very excited about this news. To help solidify my chances, I'm going to think positively by doing crunches and push-ups to prepare for a bathing suit, and I will ask my mom to pray for me (I like giving her little jobs like that).

Oh yeah, hoarder personality/work depression totally took over today. I ordered a crapload of games today, but at least none of them were very expensive. I really hope this nonsense ends soon. People are talking about adding 4 more depositions to my workload. 4!!!
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not of animals, but of video games. at least right now. the lip gloss/lotion hoarding is on hiatus. so of course, i had to take up something new. video games.

i've made a list of games i want to get. they're in my little notebook on my to do list. such a bad way to start. plus, the plans are still a go for getting a ds lite once my hell of a job slows down in two weeks. at least i hope it slows down. actually i hope it ends.


it's official that i can go on the cruise with my boy and his family to celebrate his sister's graduation. it's set for may 5. but i'm not sure if my case will be in trial or not. plus, i'm not sure if i'm going to stay on this case or not. so, i think i'm just going to go ahead and buy the ticket for the cruise and take the chance. as for the plane ticket, i'll just wait until march to get that. it means i won't be able to travel with my boy on the plane, but that's okay. i really really really want to go on this cruise dammit. it's to places i've never been and i just want to be part of the family. i hope it works out. *crossing fingers*

this past weekend, i met one of the boy's good friends who was visiting. he was really cool and i'm really glad i met him. i hope he liked me too. it's important to me that the boy's friends like me. ugh. i'm making myself sick with my sugary sweetness. :D
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While I love writing, thinking and talking about my IT boy, I must move on to other things. I will avoid talking about negative things for a moment. Instead, I will let you in on a not-so-secret secret. I am participating in the NaNoWriMo this year. That's National Novel Writing Month for those of you who are not in the know. Basically, I am attempting to write a 50,000 word novel by the end of November. I have never tried doing something like this before, and to be honest, I'm not sure that I'll actually be able to do it because well, I'm traveling a lot this month.

BUT, even if I don't make it, I think it will be an awesome exercise in human willpower. I know at some point, I will write a novel, and I'm a huge believer that you can't get good at something until you practice. Or at least try.

Look at the blogging as an example. Before a few months ago, I was horrible at keeping up with my LJ (and my blogger). But look at me now. Now I regularly update you on the inanities of my life, without any real expectation that you will read it or care, but I do it anyway. Because it's now just something I do.

I'm not saying novel writing will end up the same way. But I feel like the principle applies. I have also taken up knitting again, since it's cold out and I have scarves I owe to people.

Anyhow, there it is. Novel writing. Me. Please don't say a word to anyone, except for maybe me. Because I already know. Thanks.
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and this one is no different. i lost my voice on saturday and i'm still recovering.

well, my weekend was quite eventful. friday, i went to a gathering for this site i'm a member of and we had a drunken, disorderly, messy, excellent time. and... i met two very nice boys who i'm sure will occupy my time for at least a little while. this was on top of the somewhat creepy busboy who couldn't keep his hands off me, but as everyone pointed out, at least i got a free drink. big consolation. ooh, and i ran into an old friend from law school so it was an excellent evening overall.

managed to drag myself back home around 4 in the morning. so, as a result, i didn't get up till noon. and i could barely work. instead, i tried to work while a marathon of the hills was playing in the background. gotta love my girl, l.c. she and her friends are just so entertaining to watch, and they remind me of why i'm never going back to l.a. ever.

went out again saturday night. attended shakespeare in the parking lot (the antithesis to shakespeare in the park) alone and then met up with one of the cute boys and had a lovely evening. at first, i wasn't sure if i was on a date, but it appears from our conversation today, that i was. woo hoo for me. got home around 3.

woke up sunday at 11. and worked the entire freaking day. i'm so tired now. i got up at 5:30 this morning to type something up and i'm just a waste of space sitting at my desk now. whatever. it pays the bills. hollah to the dollah y'all.
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It's 1:29pm and I am just a waste of space. I did get to see the pre-bf last night though and that was nice. It had been a week and 3 days! We were both really tired though, so it ended up being just a cozy evening laying on the couch. Tonight will be more high energy I think.

That is, if I can keep my eyes open. I just ate a fabulous sandwich and have the other half sitting on my desk. But I think I'm going to Gramercy Tavern tonight too so I'm a little on the fence about whether I should eat the other half. But it's turkey, brie and honey mustard. Ack! The choices I'm faced with on a daily basis.

After work today, I'm picking up the new Tegan and Sara CD in addition to the Hot Fuzz DVD. Can't wait. Maybe I should go now...

UPDATE: I ate the other half. You knew I would.
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Here's my very detailed instruction manual:

1) close the door to your office. if you work in a cubicle, cover it with a sheet.
2) place HP next to you on the desk, but NOT in front of you.
3) work a little bit, then turn to your side.
4) sneak in a few pages of HP.
5) this is important. make sure to stop reading at some point and CLOSE the book. this way, if anyone comes into your office or goes under your cubicle sheet, they won't know if you're just keeping the book in your space or what.
6) repeat steps 2-5.


I just have to add that I had a lovely conversation with my pre-bf last night and I really missed him. *gasp* he thinks i'm "the best" and "awesome". eek, eek, eek. i really wish he'd just take the damn upgrade to bf. silly men. with their silly baggage.
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That's all that's in New York today - rain and fog. Love it, absolutely love it.

So, Harry Potter rocked. And now book 7 is in my office. Do you think it's possible to read HP and do document review at the same time? I may try it. I may hurt myself trying it. It's worth it, no?

Siren Festival was pretty cool. Lots and lots of hipsters though. And I don't mind saying that if they do things that put themselves in danger and end up getting hurt, I could care less. I mean, really, when do we stop giving them excuses for their own stupidity? On top of it all, their lack of boundaries really annoys me. I'm all for free love and whatever, but do it on your own time and stop PUSHING me! My friend told me about an article that describes how this new generation has a totally different sense of privacy because of myspace and texting. I find it disturbing to say the least. The clash between me and youth is getting worse and worse, and I'M NOT EVEN OLD!

Back to the festival. I really couldn't tell what MIA was all about. Too many hipsters, no view of the stage, etc. But the New York Dolls rocked. I had a great time and it seemed like most of the crowd did too.

Yesterday was nice just because I did a bunch of errands and managed to hang out with some friends for dinner. Maybe my one friend got a little trashed whereas I sobered up by the time we walked to the corner, but still. A good time for all.
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I realized I haven't said anything about the last two shows I've been to. Wednesday was Skidmore Fountain at Crash Mansion. Man, I love those guys. Excellent show Topu!

Last night I saw Mobius Band at Hiro Ballroom. That was great. I was right there touching the stage. Although I didn't participate in the post-show, talk-to-the-band thing, I enjoyed the fact that I could have if I wanted to.

Tonight I go to see Harry Potter. I really hope I can enjoy watching it. Oh god, I hope so.

I've got the Siren's Festival at Coney Island tomorrow. I really hope to hear some good music. It's what Saturdays are meant for.

And, I am so unbelievably ecstatic that today, I managed to get tickets to both Stars and Arctic Monkeys. I'm not going to say it's like a dream come true, it's just that, well, IT IS.
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day 4 of very little sleep. and all because of this son of a bitch thing called humidity. actually, last night i was sleeping with full-on a/c but my new pre-bf is a loud sleeper. and i am a very light sleeper. not a good combo at the moment.

and now it's time to move on to things not having to do with how freaking exhausted i am...

saw ratatouille tonight. it is so UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME. the entire audience started clapping when the credits started rolling. when's the last time you remember that happening? it's been a while for me. i laughed so hard during that movie. i just can't stop talking about it. man, i totally should have invested in pixar.

then went to eat some lovely fresh sushi down in the w. vill. at yama. very nice, but the service sucked ass. can't always win in this city.

and i fixed my wireless router today. i can't believe i've lived without it for the past 3 months. well, it's back on baby, and it explains my late night posting.

and it's off to bed for this chickarina.
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i won't bore you with why i think meetings suck. it's enough for me to just say it.

so where have i been? what have i been doing? a conversation with my distant friend, M, has made me realize that i've been neglecting to keep people updated. this may be a long entry. luckily, my outlook calendar keeps track of my comings and goings. without further ado...

- i've gotten two massages over the last few weeks. so great. [ profile] karendipity suggested we get one every week. if anyone would like to donate to the massage fund, just let me know. your $100 could provide me with an hour of toe-curling happiness. and it wouldn't be dirty at all.

- i saw sia play with zero 7. it was so great. she's so great. she started out with "hello f*ckers!" you can't have anything but love for someone who does that. groovy.

- i flew to california to see my brother's band's very first show in oakland on the 17th! they have a myspace page too (echodrone). he just played another show in SF this past weekend and he's got another one next week. then, they're thinking of recording a CD. i'm such a groupie now!

- it was also nice to be cali to see my mom and friends. still not enough time to see everyone, but i did my best. all i can say is that i really don't miss driving. in fact, i just don't like it.

- all kinds of shows have started this season. i'm DVRing too many of them. but when it really comes down to deciding between sleep and TV, TV wins. every time.

- went to a mall in joisey with [ profile] karendipity this past weekend as well. that was great, although i'm glad i don't spend too much time at "the mall." we also had yummy dim sum and walked across the brooklyn bridge in search of ice cream. fun fun.

- i keep dating in search of... oh, i don't know what. i have a spreadsheet to keep them all straight. some of the ones on the spreadsheet though are just potentials, as in, we seem to hang out a lot in a "friends" kind of way, and i'm just not sure how to make it clear that i want more. it has been suggested that i slip them something, but i'm too nice to do that. i think i'll have to go with kidnapping instead. hee hee.

so yeah. still alive. still going out a lot. still progressing on my journey.
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i have been embarking upon a new journey lately. i am enjoying it but right now, i'm tired. i also wish i had more time. i should be doing some work right now but instead, i'll watch tv, pass out, and try to get up early. although i know i won't get up as early as i'd like. because of the snooze button.

so what is my new journey? well, it involves changing my life from the inside. i have been going to parties where i don't know anyone. i made friends through craigslist. i call or email the new people i've met at the parties where i don't know anyone and hope for the best. the myspace friends list is growing. and i have to say, it's all working. i feel my life is more fulfilled, exciting, and happier.

work still sucks though. i found out today that not only do i have to do the annual training program again, but this time, THIS TIME, there will also be workshops. ugh.

on the boys front, things are looking up. i have a few guys i'm interested in - just waiting to see if they will return the interest. of course, not all things in that area can be going smoothly - an annoying guy from the past texted me out of the blue on friday night. but i managed to save my phone from sudden death and just ignored the text.

tonight, i saw red doors. it was a little slow but i liked it overall. and it definitely made me start thinking about my own life. i feel like i'm currently going through a similar phase of realization. i just hope my own story turns out as well as the stories of the various characters in the film.
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more distraction.

my page is
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ok, ok, ok. i heard ya. i need to post. fine.

it's not like i haven't thought about posting. or made lists in my head of things to post. i've just been so busy and overwhelmed, i seriously thought about checking myself into a loony bin for a little while.

after that little insight, now, how to go about writing a recap of the last 2 months? with a total disregard of organization of course!

- i am very excited about all the shows i'm going to see over the next month or so. considering my work consists of me and my partner-in-crime, the irish nag, trying to find the life jackets on our very own titanic, i have decided that the least i can do is make sure i'm out there having fun. stellastarr* and mobius band tomorrow. big phony ( show on 4/4 (very excited about that because i was evited as part of an elite AA crowd). sia (her song was featured on the series finale of Six Feet Under) on 4/17. mike doughty on 4/22. and finally, jaime lidell on 4/25. now, while ms. LI/jamaica is going to be accompanying me to most of the shows, y'all are totally welcome to come too. being independent artists, none of the tickets are over $20. plus, i'll be there. that's worth a cool million right there. what a bargain!

- knicks game on 4/7. they're playing the pacers. i'm taking someone i find intriguing, if not a bit frustrating. we'll see how that goes. everytime i see this person, i ask them one more question. pretty soon, i may have the mystery of our particular relationship figured out. by pretty soon, i'm hoping by summer.

- just finished reviewing my dad's will, trust, advance health care directive, and durable power of attorney. needless to say, i was not only confused by most of the legalities that are unique to this area of law, but i am also a bit traumatized.

- during one of my trips back to cali, i ended up watching a korean drama with my mom and brother, while splitting a 12 pack.

- after M left ny for london, it was pretty clear that i was a lead contender for the title, "group lush." now that A is leaving for tokyo, it's official. i don't really know how it happened. i blame genetics.

- when telling my mom about someone i know who is a bit emotionally detached. her response? "do you think it's genetic?"

- i moved out of the conference room of my firm and back into my own office. i missed it. of course, i took all the paper with me. all i need is one stray spark and this place goes up like a torch. hopefully i won't be inside it at the time. if i do, i'll use the water from my hello kitty water dispenser to save my life. i really do own a hello kitty water dispenser. it's super pink.

- my big marital termination was stamped and filed on 2/14/06. the irony nearly made me die from laughter.

- i have redone my highlights and am currently addicted to artec hair products. my hair is like a mood ring. Y can recount the color chart and their meanings for you. no one at work has said anything about it yet. i dare them to.

- tv seemed to fare well without me. i am slowly catching up. my geeky shows just finished their seasons. i mourned their temporary loss already. i am now in the midst of catching up with my trashy shows. btw, who won flava of love?

- i lost dismally in an oscar pool and am about to lose a march madness pool. betting has never been and never will be kind to me. unless it's for free items. there, i have a bit of a reputation.

ah hah!

Dec. 13th, 2005 01:36 pm
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i found a bathroom rug. thank you overstock.

also, i totally forgot to mention that i'm completely caught up now in harry potter. finished hp6 last night. i only cried a little bit. all this time, i was expecting one of harry's friends to die because i thought that's what rowling said. so it was much of a relief for me to find out who really bit it at the end.


Dec. 13th, 2005 10:45 am
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i finished the second DVD of my firefly series DVDs last night. they're really really good! and funny. i wasn't expecting so much funniness.

so i was at macys again yesterday, trying to buy a nice bathroom rug while i had my little discount card. but they didn't have the right color. and now i'm worried, what if no one has the right color? sigh... it's not even like i want a design for chrissakes, just a goddamn solid color.

but i was able to make a successful trip to the korean market after my failed attempt at buying home goods. when you fail in that regard, the obvious answer is to resort to buying food. you can never go wrong there. so, i finally bought a bag of rice (this is crucial as none of the grocery stores in my swanky UES neighborhood carries asian rice) and i made rice last night! this is the first time i've made rice since i moved into this apt. (a little over a year ago). and i also bought 5 different kinds of ramen, some radish kimchi and spicy pickles. for dessert, i picked up some frozen red bean buns and mochi. i had quite the feast last night. and i was happy.
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just attended a CLE on the topic. wasn't too bad. but i have two observations to make:

1) reading harry potter has made me look at every stranger in life as some kind of harry potter-esque character. the woman giving the CLE today reminded me of umbridge.

2) i am not a bad writer. but my bosses make me a bad writer. they really like editing. but i don't really feel like their editing adds anything to what i've generally written in a succinct, active voice manner (not that i think passive voice is bad ALL the time). and, this woman's advice on writing, while good, did not address at all the fact that in reality, the legal world writes poorly. (i just violated one of her rules, using a word that ends in -ly.)
adiva: (Default)
ok, i'm a nerd. yes. i am reading harry potter. but no. i don't sport some fake english accent. and no, i'm not attracted in particular to any of the pubescent teens that are playing them in the movies (unlike v).

What Happened When I Read the End of Goblet of Fire - Details About the Book's Ending Included )
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