adiva: (Default)
It appears that I'm not not going to keep my job for too much longer (I at least know I'll be there till the end of the summer, i.e., August). When that happens (or possibly shortly before/after), the boy and I will be moving to Texas.

*GASP*

I know. It's kind of big news. But we've been talking about it for some time and our recent trip to Austin has made it a very palatable choice for us. We're looking forward to a nicer life and more breathing room. But, that's not to say we won't return to NY at some point in the future. It's more that we just can't stay at the moment.

As my recruiter put it, "New York is dead."

What makes this whole situation even worse, worse than the horrible job market, and worse than the tension and stress associated with preparing to move -- the fact that my current job is telling me that I'm a bad lawyer. That I'm incompetent. Basically, that I'm illiterate and unable to form coherent thoughts.

I've spent the last week or so trying to build myself up from those comments. And even though I know they're not inherently true in any way, it still leaves me feeling like there's a gaping hole in my chest. Inexplicably, this gaping hole can still tighten up and make me feel like there's a rubber band stretched around my heart.

So, yeah. Texas.

May 2012

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