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a perfect day
Jul. 1st, 2007 10:00 pmis there such a thing? something for this girl to ponder.
well, if there is such a thing, today came pretty close. good food and drink, great settings, lovely conversation, someone endearing to share it with, and a beautiful day.
have i mentioned how much i love central park? because i do. being there gives me such peace, a feeling of belonging to the world, and introspection like you wouldn't believe. it's my version of acid (no i haven't tried it, i am relying on others' descriptions) -- i answer deep, meaningful questions of great import, and when i leave the park, it dissipates like steam from a kettle. it's almost like my time inside the park hasn't happened, that it was just an instance of deja vu, a longing for a time desired. surreal, right?
now, on to the pre-bf. my feelings about this one fall into two separate categories, one that acknowledges the soft and fuzzy, the other that's all gloom and doom. the combination of these two categories leads to a conclusion that i should just go along with the happiness i feel at the moment without too much thought into the future. it is clear to me that he really likes me but he is also one of these people that just doesn't know what he wants at the moment. i have caught him during a transitional time. and he acquiesces in my assessment of the situation. so i have put my offer on the table - an upgrade to bf status whenever he's ready (but without any pressure). it's all i have to give at the moment. it makes me uneasy but perhaps that's just part of the game. it may also be healthy for me to go through this queasy, unsure, slow growth phase that regular relationships go through. i just don't know since i don't think i've ever really been through it. i'm such a child when it comes to these things. so inexperienced. i only know the bad so i have trouble with the good. i'm a french flick waiting to happen. how tragic.
well, not much will happen in this next week. he goes away on vacay starting tomorrow and i leave on thursday for california. i hope i don't implode on the way.
well, if there is such a thing, today came pretty close. good food and drink, great settings, lovely conversation, someone endearing to share it with, and a beautiful day.
have i mentioned how much i love central park? because i do. being there gives me such peace, a feeling of belonging to the world, and introspection like you wouldn't believe. it's my version of acid (no i haven't tried it, i am relying on others' descriptions) -- i answer deep, meaningful questions of great import, and when i leave the park, it dissipates like steam from a kettle. it's almost like my time inside the park hasn't happened, that it was just an instance of deja vu, a longing for a time desired. surreal, right?
now, on to the pre-bf. my feelings about this one fall into two separate categories, one that acknowledges the soft and fuzzy, the other that's all gloom and doom. the combination of these two categories leads to a conclusion that i should just go along with the happiness i feel at the moment without too much thought into the future. it is clear to me that he really likes me but he is also one of these people that just doesn't know what he wants at the moment. i have caught him during a transitional time. and he acquiesces in my assessment of the situation. so i have put my offer on the table - an upgrade to bf status whenever he's ready (but without any pressure). it's all i have to give at the moment. it makes me uneasy but perhaps that's just part of the game. it may also be healthy for me to go through this queasy, unsure, slow growth phase that regular relationships go through. i just don't know since i don't think i've ever really been through it. i'm such a child when it comes to these things. so inexperienced. i only know the bad so i have trouble with the good. i'm a french flick waiting to happen. how tragic.
well, not much will happen in this next week. he goes away on vacay starting tomorrow and i leave on thursday for california. i hope i don't implode on the way.
