watering the j
Apr. 4th, 2008 03:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
adivait's been a rough week for me emotionally. i've felt generally depressed, fat, unloved, and neglected. throw in some exhaustion and you've got a very unhappy j. i eventually sent the boy a "water me please" email telling him that i needed a little lovin. i got a call in less than 5 minutes. he's fantastic. i saw him last night too, which was really nice and reassuring. i especially need the reassuring part because people around me keep warning me that i may end up as a starter girlfriend.
if you're not familiar with this concept, it goes like this. i train the boy, he becomes grade A+ boyfriend material. i want him to commit, he balks and eventually leaves me. then, he meets someone else and is still grade A+ boyfriend material AND gets engaged almost immediately because suddenly he is ready. this train of thought frightens me more than anything else in the world right now. and i told him about it too. he told me he doesn't think i need to worry about it. that there would have to be some pretty major conflict for him to leave. i told him that of course he says that now, but there's no telling with the future.
i think i'm going to cry soon.
if you're not familiar with this concept, it goes like this. i train the boy, he becomes grade A+ boyfriend material. i want him to commit, he balks and eventually leaves me. then, he meets someone else and is still grade A+ boyfriend material AND gets engaged almost immediately because suddenly he is ready. this train of thought frightens me more than anything else in the world right now. and i told him about it too. he told me he doesn't think i need to worry about it. that there would have to be some pretty major conflict for him to leave. i told him that of course he says that now, but there's no telling with the future.
i think i'm going to cry soon.
