Apr. 24th, 2012 05:56 pm
adiva: (sleepy)
What is that? I'll tell you - it's apparently the approximate weight of my parasite.

I swear, I've asked a bunch of people, and no one knows what that is. But it's better than one of the previous descriptions, which was a large mango covered in cheese. ?!?!


Mar. 19th, 2012 07:12 pm
adiva: (lazy)
My baby is supposedly almost the length of a banana. It kicks pretty regularly, makes my stomach round and tight like there's a beach ball in there, and likes to eat me up from the inside. I still don't understand these women who say they loved being pregnant. While I can't complain too much about how this pregnancy is going, I certainly wouldn't do this in the future for fun. Because it turns out I really love being able to walk without waddling, eat anything I want, drink anything I want, and not get asked a ridiculous number of times if I know the gender of my baby.

It's funny because today, the guy I work with told me he's moving his office and I offered to help. He sort of questioned the fact that I wanted to help move stuff, and then asked me if I was one of those types that keeps going till the very end. And all I could think was, "Well, my pregnancy certainly didn't make the boy think, 'Hmmmm... maybe she shouldn't be doing 7 loads of laundry,' now did it?" So maybe I am one of those types.

But right now, at this very moment, I am enjoying being lazy on the couch. I would be a fool not to use the pregnancy card at some point, right?
adiva: (Default)
It appears that I'm not not going to keep my job for too much longer (I at least know I'll be there till the end of the summer, i.e., August). When that happens (or possibly shortly before/after), the boy and I will be moving to Texas.


I know. It's kind of big news. But we've been talking about it for some time and our recent trip to Austin has made it a very palatable choice for us. We're looking forward to a nicer life and more breathing room. But, that's not to say we won't return to NY at some point in the future. It's more that we just can't stay at the moment.

As my recruiter put it, "New York is dead."

What makes this whole situation even worse, worse than the horrible job market, and worse than the tension and stress associated with preparing to move -- the fact that my current job is telling me that I'm a bad lawyer. That I'm incompetent. Basically, that I'm illiterate and unable to form coherent thoughts.

I've spent the last week or so trying to build myself up from those comments. And even though I know they're not inherently true in any way, it still leaves me feeling like there's a gaping hole in my chest. Inexplicably, this gaping hole can still tighten up and make me feel like there's a rubber band stretched around my heart.

So, yeah. Texas.
adiva: (Default)
On our bike ride this past Saturday, while crossing the Williamsburg Bridge, the boy and I had a particularly entertaining New York moment. We passed a man, who may or may not have been homeless, riding a unicycle. And not just a normal, run-of-the-mill unicycle, but a seriously tall, like 7 feet in the air, unicycle.

I wish we had our cameras on us at the time. It would've been priceless.

Two questions: 1) how did he get on the unicycle? and 2) how did he manage to pedal up the upwards part of the bridge? (The second question is really more out of pure envy since on a regular bike, I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack by the time I reach the mid-point of any bridge.)
adiva: (Default)
I don't know what kind of personality one has to have to go into real estate but I'm convinced that most of us in the world are just too good for it.

The boy and I have been looking for an apartment and have finally found one to our liking. We went in yesterday to apply for it. Once there, we find out that the price told to us by the broker is really an "offer" price and even though neither of us recalls being told that, oh ho no, we apparently were. They also requested a ridiculous amount of paperwork and told us that we wouldn't even be able to receive confirmation of our offer or a possible counteroffer until our ENTIRE application package was complete.

Then, in speaking to my current management company today, I am told that I cannot have my security deposit cover my last month's rent and that "in all [the realtor's] 20 years in real estate," she would have never said such a thing. What she apparently said was that if I didn't pay my last month's rent, my security would cover it. It still has not been explained to me the qualitative difference between those statements. And finally, I requested a reference letter from them and told them I needed it by the end of today. That was at 12:30. They said they would slip it under my door. I then called again at 4:30 and was reassured that it would be under my door. Guess what? It's 10:05 and nothing has been slipped under my door.

Unfortunately, as maddening as all this is, the apartment is truly worth it. Ergh.
adiva: (Default)
The end of 2008 has been a mix of ups and downs for me.

Read more if you'd like a peek into the world of jinnyisms2 )
adiva: (Default)
i have to rein myself in. i've been spending way too much lately in an effort to feel something besides blahness. it has got to stop. the boy and i discussed my limits and i know i'll stick to it if he's holding me accountable. it's not going to be a cold turkey kind of thing, hence it's not a no-buy but a low-buy. the boy thinks i'm ridiculous but whatever - he'll deal with it.

speaking of which, i'm looking forward to spending the week between christmas and new year's with the boy. this past thanksgiving weekend really spoiled me and it made me realize that yes, this is the one i want to marry, and that yes, i really want to live with him. there was a brief scare where his parents may have interrupted our winter vacay, but thankfully they were convinced that it would be best for them to come to ny at a later time.

at the moment, i'm watching intervention on a&e. i have to admit. there is something about this show that just makes me feel better about myself. is that just sick? right now, it's a grad student who's both alcoholic and bulimic. freaking fascinating.

i've got to find more hobbies.
adiva: (Default)
How does that sentence make sense? Clearly something dead can't go faster. Can it?

You know what thought I had in my head when I woke up yesterday morning? That my arm fat could suffocate a man. This made the boy laugh jovially at me, but I was serious.

I am now very much convinced that it is my anti-anxiety medication that is making me fat. What to do? The boy forbade me from taking diet pills, even after much pleading on my part. And I refuse to buy a whole new set of work clothes. I would rather look a little "tight" in them. Well, the good news is that I won't be on the anxiety pills forever. The doctor just doesn't think that's a good idea. I guess I'm going to have to find new ways to cope with my issues. Hopefully, I won't go back to being the messy glob of human emotion I was before.

I should focus on good things. Like dinner tonight. I am taking the boy to churrascaria tonight for his birthday dinner. That means lots of meat on sticks for him and lots of vodka for me. I'd say that's an excellent trade-off. Plus, while waiting for dinner to come around (I'm leaving from work you see, since it makes no sense for me to go home), I took a little trip to Bergdorf's to do some more makeup shopping because I have no willpower. Did you know that even the receipts are nicer at Bergdorf's? They're made of some kind of heavy stock paper so that you still feel rich after handing them your money. I suppose it makes sense. If I'm going to drop my money into that particular bucket, I'd like something in return.
adiva: (Default)
I arrived in Nashville about half an hour ago. I'm waiting for my friend's flight to come in before we head to our hotel and go grab some bbq. We're here for a co-worker's wedding. Apparently, we're the only ones from work who are coming. Whatever happened to strength in numbers?

What's sad is the only thing I can get excited about is the idea of going to Waffle House. I've been through the South about a million and one times and never had a waffle at Waffle House. Truly a sad state of affairs. I hope this trip fixes that huge gaping hole in my experiences.

The boy is in Vegas at the moment at a bachelor party. From what I can tell, my training has prepared him well for the battlefield of hookers out there who are just waiting to take my beautiful boy away from me. A text message early this morning informed me that at least 7 strippers now know of me and are jealous. Now, whether they are jealous of him for having such a great relationship, or of me for having such a faithful boyfriend, was not specified. But I suppose it doesn't matter.

I've come up with some great rhymes in the meantime, that I've told him over the phone:

Neener, neener, neener.
Who's touching your wiener?

Rose are red,
Violets are blue.
Don't think I won't pierce your scrotum with thatched reed traveling at hurricane-like speeds if you cheat on me.

Mirror mirror on the wall.
If [boy] cheats, I'll kill them all.

Poetry? Perhaps. What's more important is the way I can keep to a theme. :)
adiva: (Default)
in approximately one hour, i am to have dinner with my two partners, another associate, our expert and the client. i learned this approximately two hours ago. i hope i don't 1) do anything stupid, or 2) eat too much.

i don't want to eat too much because in approximately four hours, my brother will be landing at jfk and we are supposed to have dinner together (with my bf in attendance as well). and besides that, i am trying to avoid becoming a gray whale roaming the halls of my firm, looking for beaches to throw myself upon. i'm not there yet but it's impending.

becoming a gray whale is a possibility because i've been working too much and sleeping too little. same old story as before. my metabolism is shot, i have no idea what day it is most of the time, and i think my apartment is starting to smell a little.

it seems like everyone is swamped at the moment. is it the financial crash or is just because it's mid-september? either way, it's not going to stop me from attending the ATP festival this weekend. i will be listening to slightly known, noise-producing, indie (but don't call them indie) bands all weekend. should be fun.
adiva: (Default)
yesterday was the 1 year anniversary for me and the boy. i joked with him for about a week that he should send me flowers. but i tried to make it really clear that i was joking. but of course, he sent flowers to me at work.


we couldn't see each other yesterday, so instead i made him talk to me on the phone. he wasn't allowed to watch TV, use the computer, or read while talking to me. meaning, he had to actually pay attention. i asked for 20 minutes, he lasted for more than 40. i was super impressed.

tonight, though, we'll see each other in person. we've got reservations for union square cafe because we didn't want anything too fancy. i'm looking forward to it.
adiva: (Default)
It's been an intense couple of weeks for me and the boy.

First off, we launched a website together. It's called I plead with each and every one of you that is my friend to check it out and spread the word. We're really trying to make a go of it and we need the internet traffic.

So far, out of about 120 emails I sent out, only 4 people have created accounts, and only 1 person has actually contributed to the site. It's a little frustrating to say the least. I most commonly get the response that either my friends are too old to go to concerts or they don't have any of their own pictures or videos to post. People: You don't need your own pictures to post. I've now posted hundreds of things, and not a single one of them are mine. You literally just have to search flickr or youtube, and find stuff to link to the site. Or enter concert dates. Or hell, just add the names of your favorite music artists.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, again, check out the site. :)

Also, work's been really busy so I'm just waiting for that to calm down so I can go back to promoting the site. (I'm sort of the informal P.R. person if you will.) That, and I actually have my own site that I hope to be launching soon. More details on that later...

The animals are fine though, and despite my lack of sleep of late, I'm still okay too. I think. But I do feel quite dehydrated. And that's without a lot of alcohol. It's all very confusing...

It's so scary when your to-do list of personal projects is just as long as your to-do list at work.
adiva: (Default)
My new corn snake, Falcor, will be arriving on Tuesday. I am so utterly excited. :) I just know I'm going to fall in love the moment I see him. And then I'll just die, die, die from the love in my house between the cats, the hamster and the snake. And when the boy visits on the weekend, I may just explode from the overwhelming gravitational effect of the loving.


Anyways, I'm back from Chicago. It was a wonderful vacation. I am about 5 pounds heavier, but it was soooo worth it. I unfortunately, did not get to eat gator, but I did eat shark. I also had some excellent hot dogs at Hot Doug's. Mmmmm...

And, as usual, I'm even more in love with the boy. I'm not sure how that's possible, but it is. I demanded that he say something romantic to me before our vacation ended, and he came up with a good one: "I know I don't express it that often, but I am proud to have you as my girlfriend. I look at you and think 'Wow, that's [jinnyisms2]. And she's my girlfriend.'" Aaaaannnnhhhh...

I also took this opportunity to tell the boy about my first crazy bf. He took it well, but commented on how it was hard to believe that those things happened to me. Sigh. Yeah, it's hard for me too.
adiva: (Default)
sorry everyone. i'm finally starting to re-emerge from the work cave i was in for a few weeks. i'm not sure how i survived, but i did. and my new partners like me, so it's all good.

not a whole lot going on. flying out for 4th of july weekend to attend taste of chicago. i plan on eating alligator and all sorts of new things. and the weather looks like it might not suck while the boy and i are there, so that's a bonus.

as of today, i have 1,650 days left doing the job i do. then i'm out (at least that's the current plan). oh, i've also started a new countdown. this time, it's to the day that i move in with the boy. i have 248 days left for that deadline. (you think i'm crazy, but trust me, it helps me with my anxiety. don't ask why, i'm not sure i know anyway.)

alright, time to head home.
adiva: (Default)
i just read an article about things you shouldn't say to As-Am's (like "Where are you from?" and "You speak English good.") and it reminded me of a funny story.

The boy and I bought bottled water to take on the cruise. It happened to be Fiji water. So, one day, we're sitting around with the boy's family and his aunt notices me drinking one of the bottled waters. She repeats the name to herself and then asks me... "Are you from there?"

I honestly didn't know what to say. My gut reaction was to be sarcastic because well, that's really one of the silliest questions I've gotten in a long time. So I tried to remind myself that she is from Florida and that I am trying to marry the boy. I just responded with "No" and left it at that.

I think the boy almost died from trying to keep the laughter inside. I hope the story gave you a laugh too.

(20 minutes left till my 3 day weekend.)
adiva: (Default)
now i've done and seen almost everything.

last night, i went to a prog rock concert. if you had asked me just 6 months ago, "jinnyisms2, do you think you'd ever go to a prog rock concert?" my answer would probably have been "why the f would i?"

and yet, there i was. at a dream theater concert. it's the boy's favorite band. it's so tragically floridian. and white. it's why i had to go. he told me there were two rules. 1) i could not fall asleep. and 2) i could not leave. i managed to stay within those boundaries, but it was hard. actually, despite my lack of interest in the music (did i mention before dream theater, there was this band called opec, a swedish death metal band?), i had quite a bit of fun being near the pit and pushing and punching people. i punched 3 or 4 people yesterday and it felt pretty good. then i almost got in a fight with someone outside the theater after the show. hopefully, this will curb my aggression levels for a while.

so, now the boy and i are even. i made him go to the hotel cafe tour and listen to touchy feely folksy grey's anatomy type music (my only rule was that he not criticize my music - i even told him he could bring a book or his DS lite if he wanted). and i have now listened to musicians play 50 billion notes in an hour on their guitars and drum sets, etc. i witnessed a lot of hair, shirts that said things like "behemoth," and i think we may have been the only two actually from manhattan. i'd say it was pretty educational overall. like a nature show.

plus, it meant i got to see the boy last night. his website programming personal project is really making me sad. i only get to be with him for maybe 36 hours out of the whole week (one sleepover on a weekday and one weekend day plus sleepover). and today is a rough day for me (my dad died on this day two years ago) and i wish i could spend more time with him. right now, i'm proceeding with the thought that i won't see him until monday, which seems awfully far away. i'm calling it being "gloomy and doomy." i tried to get an answer out of him this morning about his plans for the weekend, but we decided it would be best for me to remain "gloomy and doomy." otherwise, i risk being "hopeful then disappointed." i ended the conversation by demanding a full weekend in june along with the cushy pillow he's buying me for being good this month. i maybe should have specified that i meant multiple full weekends. oh, i also told him that i may possibly die on saturday from a freak accident. he remained speechless.
adiva: (Default)
Yesterday, I adopted my very first hamster. I know it usually goes hamster first, larger mammals second (i.e., the cats). But I never do things the usual way.

First off, I already love my hamster. One night is all it took and I think he's the greatest. Second, I am not at my home right now and I just hope he's okay. Here's the deal. Obviously, the two kitties that co-habitate with the hamster are very curious about their new rodent friend. So I decided to put his cage on top of my dresser, which I am sure, for all purposes is not within reach of the felines. But, what if I'm wrong?! I really really hope not. I left them alone for 6 hours last night while at a party and returned to peacefulness. Well, not exactly total peacefulness as there was a lot of hamster wheel action going on at 2:30 in the morning. But now I've been gone for approximately 16.5 hours and I'm getting a little nervous (I'm at the boy's place).

Which leads me to third. So third, I am truly, sadly, pathetically in love with the boy. While he sits in the other room, withdrawing deeper and deeper into his coding cave (a personal project he's been working on for a while), I am content to sit in the other room and blog about my hamster rather than just go home to be with my hamster.

It's sick really. I should just go home. I'm not getting anything here. No attention, no lovin, nothing. But somehow, I still prefer to be here. I think I need meds. I think I need a glass of wine. I think I need a reality check.

Anyway, I will do my typical thing and just ignore my sick, pathetic mushy side and focus on the hamster instead. Of course, there will be pictures soon. He is a Syrian hamster (aka Teddy Bear). His name is Banzuke. He has a darkish brown/grey coloring in stripes where his head and shoulder area have the color and his abdomen down to his tail also have that color. His middle is a beautiful white. His fur is so soft and I can already tell he's going to be very personable. He gnawed for a moment on my finger, but not really in an aggressive way, I think he may have thought I was a tortilla chip (the last thing I ate). He's very inquisitive and has a lot of personality characteristics that remind me of the boy (who helped pick him out btw). For instance, he naps while in the middle of doing things and yawns all the time. He's also surprisingly calm for having his whole world being completely overturned yesterday. He doesn't turn down snacks although he's not a big eater either. And I can tell that he's complicated on the inside while deceivingly simple on the outside.

Yup, that's Banzuke for you. As I said, pictures to come.

Oooh, I also have picked out a name for my pastel motley corn snake that should be arriving in August. I've decided to name him Falcor, after the dragon from Neverending Story. I think their colorations will be similar, hence, the inspiration.
adiva: (Default)
today is day 17 of no alcohol. AND, i've lost about 4.8 pounds since starting calorie counting. pretty good progress if you ask me. and at this point, i've been able to up my calorie intake since i've gotten so close to my goal - as a result, i don't feel like i'm starving all the time. as for running, the boy and i managed to make it out on saturday the first weekend, both saturday and sunday last weekend, and saturday this weekend. we didn't run today because we just sort of ran out of time so we walked to and from bloomingdale's instead. (in total, we ran/walked almost 16 miles this weekend). to make up for no exercise during the week, i've been doing my best to walk home from work (about 2.8 miles) - this past week, i walked home 4 nights out of 5. :)

the boy and i have discussed it and unless there's a celebratory dinner for his sister's graduation, we won't break our current no-alcohol thing until the first day of the cruise, which is may 5. that means i have, at most, 15 days left of this torture. trust me, i will be counting down the days. ha ha.

today we went shopping and i'm almost completely done getting everything i need for the cruise. i even put on a number of bikinis and had the boy help me pick one out (which basically meant that he said he didn't find any of them particularly offensive). i've got all the dresses i need, a perfect pair of jeans, plenty of tops, and i *think* i have enough shorts (must switch out winter clothes for summer soon). i need just a few more things like more running socks and a pair of black ballet flats (which apparently no one has anymore), and i'm done. as in done, done. unless of course, i convince myself i need to buy more. which is always an option.

did i mention that i managed to tell the partner i'm working with about my cruise and he said, and i quote, "ok"? so i think that's a green light!

so overall, a very good weekend. now if only i could stop feeling horrible every weekend when it's time for the boy to go home, i would be better than peachy. okay, maybe horrible is an overstatement, but i definitely feel sad. i don't know when that will go away. at least i'm not as overly emotional as i was two weekends ago. but still, it's awfully hard.
adiva: (Default)
it's been a rough week for me emotionally. i've felt generally depressed, fat, unloved, and neglected. throw in some exhaustion and you've got a very unhappy j. i eventually sent the boy a "water me please" email telling him that i needed a little lovin. i got a call in less than 5 minutes. he's fantastic. i saw him last night too, which was really nice and reassuring. i especially need the reassuring part because people around me keep warning me that i may end up as a starter girlfriend.

if you're not familiar with this concept, it goes like this. i train the boy, he becomes grade A+ boyfriend material. i want him to commit, he balks and eventually leaves me. then, he meets someone else and is still grade A+ boyfriend material AND gets engaged almost immediately because suddenly he is ready. this train of thought frightens me more than anything else in the world right now. and i told him about it too. he told me he doesn't think i need to worry about it. that there would have to be some pretty major conflict for him to leave. i told him that of course he says that now, but there's no telling with the future.

i think i'm going to cry soon.
adiva: (Default)
the boy has done the impossible. he's convinced me to try "running." i have heard about this "running" before from others, but always considered it something for other people to do. you know, people who like to exercise and stuff.

never, in a million years, did i ever think i would do it.

but now i own running shoes, running socks and a jog bra. i think that means i have to do it now. i'm invested. it's the law that i must now collect on my investment.

he speculates that i may someday like running. i told him to put down the crackpipe.

man. what we do for love.
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